I’ve spent my whole life looking ahead, towards the future. Always gunning it, working as hard as I can, going as fast as I can, piling on more, committing to more, expecting more. Always expecting more. Of myself, of others, of my life. THIS wasn’t it..IT was ahead of me, just around the corner and I better get there fast before it’s dark and I can’t see it any more.

Guess what?

The scenic view is right here.

Everything I’ve been or done or seen or said or wished for but is now past is in the rear view mirror. All the gunning has just gotten me closer to what? What is it? Because I don’t feel closer to anything. At all. In fact, now it feels like maybe I accidentally passed it all, and accidentally ran over some people in my desperate flight for that thing ahead that I thought I had an idea about. It is so rare for me to be pleased in the moment. Why? Sometimes when I’m conscious and accepting of the moment, which in itself has been a rare thing, though it does get easier the older I get, but when I actually am conscious of that moment, I often feel awkward and that consciousness becomes SELF consciouness real quickly. And that’s no good. So what’s the problem? Why is it so hard to be here now? Whats wrong with now? What’s wrong with what this moment holds? What’s wrong with where you are now? What’s wrong with the people you love? What’s wrong with slowing down and realizing what you have and how little control you actually have in life?

Nothing. So, self, do it. Relax. This IS the scenic view.

This IS the scenic view

Leave a Reply