So..this is a real Craigslist listing of someone looking for a roommate. It’s brilliant really. Super creative. Love it.

FREE ROOM IN 3 BDRM PALMS APT (Palms, Los Angeles)

Opportunity of a lifetime (or the worst mistake you’ve ever made). Live rent free or greatly subsidized in an apt in Palms. You must be fucking incredible. Down and out on life, disenchanted with the illusion, willing to change the world and enlightened (or approaching it). You must be able to clean as well. I hate cleaning and your only requirement is to keep the place remotely clean. If you can cook too you’re golden. This isn’t some fucking posh resort and it definitely isn’t the projects either; cars have been stolen (mine) and people have been murdered in the surrounding area (that I’ve witnessed) but thats LA. Other than that you can be a pretty fucking noisy person. I am. I play music as loud as I can without caring and as often as possible. Bummer. I also make beats so if you’re the reincarnation of pac or biggie we’re both going to be famous. You will also be an assistant to some of the most random shit you’ve ever done in your life (so really there are 2 qualifications). Stuff that will fill your life with fucked up stories you’ll eventually tell your children. They’ll probably call you a liar. You’ll swear it really happened and they’ll still doubt you. But whatever. I’m an agent of chaos. Deal with it. Fuck cigarette smokers but if you smoke medicinal herb its a plus. A double plus. If you drink 40z., bomb. If you steal my shit I’ll have the neighborhood kids fuck you up. The room is excellent by the way and has its own bathroom (w/o shower). There is also another roommate who’s cooler than you probably. Hopefully you can change that.

This may sound like the most fucked up offer ever but really it isn’t. It’s a social experiment. Help me help you. I’m not some perv. I’m not some gamer. I’m not some sociopath. I’m just your average kid from San Diego that ended up in art school. Logic and reality are two words that are stupid as fuck to me. If you want to live with someone who makes sense look elsewhere. I will constantly hover in left-field. I have a career. Seriously. Imagine that – stability! You should probably have one too but its not required. Your sole purpose is to be enigmatic and amazing to me. I should roll through the spot and find you unpredictably watching public access. Maybe you’re an excellent rib chef? Maybe you disassembled a motorcycle in the living room! Now that I think about it you must be a girl. Not because I want to fuck you but simply because I don’t want to deal with some bro acting all bro’d out. I’m out of control enough. You need to either amplify or dampen this quality. I’m a demagogue, an asshole and generally fucked up (but also genuine, compassionate and loyal). Much like your favorite dog. No ex-cons. For sure. I will check your background fucker. I actually have a job so I can pay for that shit. Maybe we can document the whole thing and make a weird art project out of it. Oh and you can’t be too fucked up yourself. Crazy ex-boyfriends with shotguns. Bummer. Terrible cocaine problem. Mildly bummer. Worst personality ever. Fucked. Your rent-freeness is based totally on personality. Tread wisely. Send a picture and write a 500 word essay (apparently 2000 is a lot) on why you’re perfect for a free lifestyle. UCLA students I’m sure will excel at this portion. Oh and fuck your fake ass references. Send me a list of highlights from you’re life: i.e. age 12 broke face, age 23 swam the english channel, etc. I’m so serious about this it’s ridiculous. If you’ve always jumped headfirst into the lion’s mouth — you’ve found your home! Fuck grammarrrrrr.?&!”!! (oh and by the way I’m not looking for a slave, people keep asking about that)

The Original Craigslist listing.

Tempting. It really is.

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