Category: Just thoughts.


I don’t know where I found this. I have a folder of things I keep for the perfect time. I don’t do such a good job of documenting source. (if you know..please forward so that I can). I just love it though. It’s so honest and full of heart and concern and that picture of Kaine is just awesome. He looks so wild and crazy eyed and shatter toothed. Kinda reminds me of my favorite childhood book, The Inspector. I know I’ve posted about it before.

So is it the perfect time to post it? I don’t know. Is there ever a perfect time for anything? This week I read a story written about my childhood dog who was killed for eating chickens. Blue was his name. He had one blue eye and one brown eye and lots and lots of snow white hair. I loved that dog so much. I lost him. At the time I thought I lost him a different way..but either way..I lost him. That wasn’t the beginning of my loss of things I loved..and certainly not the end.

Right now I feel fortunate to have what I have, but I also feel great sadness about the loss of a lot of things that were dear to me. Really, really dear to me. People. Things. Dogs. Hopes. Dreams.    I feel like drawing pictures of everything I’ve lost and posting them around the city in hopes that someone can return them…….or maybe realize how important they are to someone else and take better care of them than I did.


This is one of those Facebook things …I’m sorry…I am..but holy cow…I was guilty of every single one of these things. Most in the most recent past. This is a not do that. If I just post it on Facebook..I’ll forget in 20 seconds. But will last a little longer. You really should click through..and actually read this list because I bet there is stuff you could be reminded of too.


Thanks LifeBuzz.




I absolutely adore this movie. I’ve watched it twice now in the last year. I was so surprised when I watched this film from the 60’s that spoke of love and relationships in a way that wasn’t idealistic, or always romantic, but surely real.  It’s the story of a couples 12 year journey through life and love with all the pitfalls that happen.

I love the story, I love Audrey Hepburn, I love the scenery, the cars, the wardrobes. Everything is so wonderful. What this trailer doesn’t show, that I love so much, is the dynamic of their love and the method of telling the story..constantly cutting from the beginning of their relationship, to current, to somewhere in the middle, to back to the beginning, to another point in the middle, to the current again..and so it goes. Using repeating locations and people as common ties. The story itself is a rocky love story of an unlikely match between a sarcastic, seemingly self centered architect, and a sweet, almost naive, gorgeous woman who can volley back anything that crank can throw her way.

While intricately woven together, the story is of a relationships sweet fresh beginnings that turn to tougher times with infidelity, and a baby, and crushing ties to a demanding employer, and the strained..almost lost connection, and more infidelity, and anger and resentment and then…acknowledgement of each others importance and then..surrender to their cagey, banter filled, sarcastic volley filled existence of deep love for one another expressed through their unique dynamic of a constant push pull.

So good.


I’ve been thinking a lot about loneliness the last couple of years. I’ve found myself lonelier than I’ve ever been. Through many circumstances…seclusion in working for myself, a change in friend circles, a fragile relationship, a sometimes unwillingness to emerge from my safety zone..lots of reasons. There are steps I’m taking now to both be more accepting of my mostly solitary presence and even learn to enjoy it in extended periods, but also to realize when and how to minimize my loneliness with authentic experiences and relationships. Surprisingly many old friendships have emerged from places I never expected from people I haven’t connected with in a long time. Old friends. And new friends that seem like old friends so quickly. I’ll share more about my thoughts on this human condition we all seem to be enduring, but first this short video about social media and it’s contribution to our ever growing loneliness as a “modern, advanced, civilized world”. In my moments of most crushing loneliness I’ve spent hours on Facebook, Instagram, sometimes even that weird bird Twitter searching for a a nugget of relief, finding only more loneliness on top of my own loneliness. When I’ve on rare occasion posted things, I’ve found the quick burst of “someone liked it..someone commented..I am validated” wears off in nearly less than a minute. But that feeling after an evening spent having conversation over dinner or drinks, or chatting with distant friends, or even a quick alley exchange with a new neighbor has lasted for days. Do it. Reach out, connect and then cherish your solitude filled with time to fill yourself in other ways. That’s my thought for the day.



4 days ago I ladled a full scoop of steaming hot Strawberry jam on my hand. 2nd degree burns on the top and inside of my hand, big blisters. As I held the cold wet washrag to my burning hand on the drive home I thought to myself..”so how is it that I use my health insurance again and where is that emergency clinic..and can I shift and steer with my left hand..?”  In four days the inside of my hand is completely healed and the outside is 75% better. All I’ve done is squeeze aloe from my plant onto it several times a day.

Skin is amazing. Aloe is outstanding.


Happy 13th Birthday to my favorite big brown stinky loud nervous terrible awesome beautiful ball catching hike taking best girl dog. I love you so much.


Goodness. This one caught me by surprise. A short video of strangers kissing for the first time can make your heart swell with overwhelming love, hope, sadness, sweet memories and great wonder in the power of attraction and a simple kiss….yep.  Enjoy. is a commercial for a clothing line. But what the hell. Commericals can be art too.


From Sploid/Gizmodo. 

The first kiss.

Oh god. My worst nightmare.

She kills herself and no one even notices for 6 years, until her bank account is dry.


My worst nightmare

Guess it’s a 2 Zefrank day. Sometimes I wonder if he has access to the libraries of my head carefully selecting one fear or another of mine.


I’ve never had an easy time with this one either. And my lack of myself..has made my life more difficult. Most of the time it was an unwarranted lack of trust..sometimes my lack of trust led to exactly that which I was fearing..and betrayal on my part, or their part, led to massive pain. WAY more than what I feared when I was untrusting. So that could go two ways.. 1)See…I was right to not trust. or the reality 2)That lack of trust eroded something pure and true and caused the betrayal.

Funny how that is..focus on what you want..because that’s where you end up. If you are driving, if you are swinging a bat, if you are working on your career, if you are in love, if you are baking a cake, if you are snowboarding down a black run…don’t focus on what you don’t want. That’s just dumb. You’ll crash. And it will hurt. A lot.

Focus & Trust