Halle after her 3rd Hydrogen Peroxide and baking soda bath. Note bubbly puddle and what I hope is a look of apology and  humility.

Halle and I went for a walk night before last. Which we often do. This was a later one. I had gone to a friends short film at the local theater and came home afterwards to a screeching monkey yearning for some ball time at the park. It was after 11 and I’m pretty sure the dog police have gone to bed by now so we scooped up the necessities and headed over. After some time..but granted..an abbreviated amount of time, because the ball thrower was tired, we headed home. Now..usually Halle is pretty winded by the point we are headed back so I don’t use the leash on the return trip. She shuffles a few steps ahead of me, ball in mouth, tired thankful eyes occasionally turning back to make sure I’m right behind. We stop at corners where she has learned “wait” and together we retrace our steps back to the house at a slow even pace.

This night however her gait was a bit more lively.

And then she saw a cat.

I hollered, but all bets were off. I, with more worldly knowledge, knew we were fucked. She..was surprised that the cat didn’t run away at all and stood briefly before it, in the intersection, quizzically. The cat’s job is to run. The whole game is no fun unless the cat runs and unless the cat runs, there is no chase. I’m the one running, running down the sidewalk yelling “NO!, HALLE, NO!” She, with wide eyes stands trembling waiting for the chase, when…the cat reversed and sprayed her full force in the face. It was only then she realized.. I think..that this was no cat.  And then with a split second of contemplation, she went in for retaliation against that furry little cat impersonator.

So..now..I’m running down the street yelling, she’s been sprayed and has the skunk neck in her mouth and is aggressively flipping it around with the ferocity of a wild animal, I’m pulling her off the skunk, trying not to get spayed myself thinking, “can skunks only spray once or does he have more in him? ” the skunk falls out of Halles mouth, stands up, shakes it off and scuttles over to the side of the road as a truck load of drunk Mexicans comes around the corner with heads hung out the window yelling “oh! skunk smell every where!” and Halle and I, leaving her ball rolling down the opposite street, collect ourselves and quickly walk the opposite way of the skunk.

My brain racing..”what do I do now..what do I do now” we quickly walk our walk of shame home, but before we get there, the nice lady that owns the design studio down the street rolls up in her white pickup truck, smiles, gets out, and then steps back and says..”oh, it smells so strong of skunk.”

I sheepishly look at her..”it’s us.”

She takes another step back and says.. “Oh. I. Am. So. Sorry.”

“Thank you” I say. And we continue our trek home.

It occurs to me that Ross is out shopping for his road trip, maybe he can get something. I ring him up.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Where are you?”

“I’m a few blocks away from your house and it smells like skunk real bad….”

Waiting for Ross to travel the last skunk odor filled blocks I sit on the steps googling “skunk sprayed dog, what to do”, as my lungs literally burn from the smell of sulphur and garlic, I wonder how much is on me too.

Google Results: Hydrogen Peroxide, baking soda and dish soap. Awesome. I have that. But is my hose long enough to reach the alley? No.

I call my employee Mark who is dating my next door neighbor.

“Hi Mark. Can you ask your girlfriend if I can use her hose?”

“Did you guys get sprayed by a skunk?”

“Yes…. Yes we did.”

“Yeah, it really stinks.”

“Yes. Yes it does.”

Ross kindly made the concoction and handed it over with his shirt pulled over his nose, backing away with a “…I’ll see you girls later..”. Halle and I washed up and then had a camp out in the living room to keep the bedroom spared of our stench.

So..it’s now a day and a half later,  6 dog washes, two loads of laundry, 2 showers, open windows and fans for 2 days, and the smell is almost out of my car, my hands, my house, and almost out of Halle, though I’ve found as great as Natures Miracle Skunk Odor wash is..Halles neck hair is especially pungent after her sunbathing sessions.

I’ve also found I’ve grown to like the smell a little.

Can’t say that’s the case for everyone else around us though.

 

All smoky skies and skunk odor here

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